The Morning After

Ok i am still feeling sad this morning and have a few tears. I had a bit of a revelation last night and was reminded that I was greiving and it is a perfectly normal emotion. Thanks Kate for reminding me of that.
Anyway today i am going to focus on the positives. I am telling myself that this has all happened for a reason. The universe is going to give me what i want and need from life. I have my goals set out and i will achieve them. I am going to visual my goals and i am going to get them soon.
My Goals are
1. To be a happy, caring loving person
2. To be in a happy loving relationship by the end of this year
3. To have lots of money and i mean lots by the time i am 50
4. To own my own business so i can get lots of money
5. To be at my perfect weight by the end of August

Some of these goals are materialistic and thats fine. Mostly I just want to be happy. Be happy with who I am and to have the love and respect from a partner that i deserve.
I realised this morning I have never had that love and respect from anyone in my life and thats because i have never loved and respected myself so how could anyone feel that way about me, if i have never given it to myself.
It is quite ironic in a way that the last couple of days that a few things have happened on the exact same day as they did last year.
One being on Thursday where i think i was happier than i have been for a long long time and that same exact date year ago, i was at a place where i was that low that i didnt care if i killed myself or most importantly that i killed someone else. The second thing was on Friday when i let go of Warren, we had had bascially the same talk at the exact same place drinking tea out of the exact same mugs, exactly one year ago.
Not sure if it means a damn thing but it made me sit up and take notice that i have really wasted exactly a year getting my life back on track.
Ok onwards and upwards from here.

Thought of the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your thoughts become things.